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Wit, Wisdom and Humor of Tea

Wit, Wisdom and Humor of Tea

Tea tempers the spirits and harmonizes the mind, dispels lassitude and relieves fatigue, awakens thought and prevents drowsiness, lightens or refreshes the body, and clears the perceptive faculties.  Confucius

Thank God for tea! What would the world do without tea?–how did it exist? I am glad I was not born before tea.  Sydney Smith

“Sammy,” whispered Mr. Weller, “if some o’ these here people don’t want tappin’ to-morrow mornin’, I ain’t your father, and that’s wot it is. Why this here old lady next me is a drown-in’ herself in tea.”

“Be quiet, can’t you?” murmured Sam.

“Sam,” whispered Mr. Weller, a moment afterward, in a tone of deep agitation, “mark my words, my boy; if that ‘ere secretary feller keeps on for five minutes more, he’ll blow himself up with toast and water.”

“Well, let him if he likes,” replied Sam; “it ain’t no bis’ness of yourn.”

“If this here lasts much longer, Sammy,” said Mr. Weller, in the same low voice, “I shall feel it my duty as a human bein’ to rise and address the cheer. There’s a young ‘ooman on the next form but two, as has drank nine breakfast cups and a half; and she’s a swellin’ wisibly before my wery eyes.”  Pickwick Papers.

Books upon books have been published in relation to the evil effects of tea-drinking, but, for all that, no statistics are at hand to show that their arguments have made teetotalers of tea-drinkers. One of the best things, however, said against tea-drinking is distinctly in its favor to a certain extent. It is from one Dr. Paulli, who laments that “tea so dries the bodies of the Chinese that they can hardly spit.” This will find few sympathizers among us. We suggest the quotation to some enterprising tea-dealer to be used in a street-car advertisement.

Of all methods of making tea, that hit upon by Heine’s Italian landlord was perhaps the most economical. Heine lodged in a house at Lucca, the first floor of which was occupied by an English family. The latter complained of the cookery of Italy in general, and their landlord’s in particular. Heine declared the landlord brewed the best tea ho had ever tasted in the country, and to convince his doubtful English friends, invited them to take tea with him and his brother. The invitation was accepted. Tea-time came, but no tea. When the poet’s patience was exhausted, his brother went to the kitchen to expedite matters. There he found his landlord, who, in blissful ignorance of what company the Heines had invited, cried: “You can get no tea, for the family on the first floor have not taken tea this evening.”

The tea that had delighted Heine was made from the used leaves of the English party, who found and made their own tea, and thus afforded the landlord an opportunity of obtaining at once praise and profit by this Italian method of serving a pot of tea.–Chambers’s Journal.


Matrons who toss the cup, and see
The grounds of Fate in grounds of tea.

Author | readingtealeaves Comments | 0 Date | 07/09/2016

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